"Do I look okay?"
"Is this angle making my nose look weird?"
"I should have lost those ten pounds before booking this session."
"My smile looks so fake!"
Sound familiar? If you've ever stood in front of a camera for your portrait photography session and heard these thoughts racing through your mind, welcome to the club. As a photographer who's worked with hundreds of families, couples, and individuals at LaLa Photography, I can tell you with absolute certainty: that critical inner voice is the universal soundtrack of photo sessions everywhere.
The Pre-Session Jitters Are Real
Let me tell you about Maria, who arrived at our Portland studio last month literally shaking with nerves. "I hate how I look in photos," she whispered as she hung up her coat. "I almost canceled three times this morning."
20 minutes later, this same woman was twirling in front of our backdrop, laughing as she tried different poses, completely at ease in her own skin. What changed? She stopped listening to that inner critic and started trusting the process.
The Science Behind Photo Anxiety
That nervous feeling before a portrait photography session isn't just in your head – it's actually your body's stress response kicking in. When we feel judged (even by our future selves looking at these photos), our brain can trigger a mild fight-or-flight response. Suddenly, your mouth feels dry, your smile feels forced, and your body feels stiff.
And then that inner critic shows up to narrate the whole experience: "You look awkward. Your smile is weird. Everyone else looks natural in photos except you."
The Viewing Session Spiral
If the pre-session jitters are Act One of this drama, the photo viewing session is definitely Act Two. I've watched countless clients scan quickly past beautiful images of themselves, fixating instead on perceived flaws that honestly, nobody else would ever notice.
"My eyes look tired."
"Look at those wrinkles when I smile."
"My hair looks flat."
Meanwhile, I'm seeing radiance, joy, connection, and beauty – but that critical inner voice is drowning out everything else.
The Truth About Beautiful Photos
Here's what I've learned after years behind the camera: The most stunning photos don't happen when you're perfectly posed, wearing the perfect outfit, at your perfect weight, with perfect hair.
The most beautiful portrait photography sessions happen in moments of authenticity – when you're connected to the people you love, when you're laughing genuinely, when you've momentarily forgotten the camera is even there.
Beauty isn't about perfection. It's about presence.
Practical Ways to Quiet Your Inner Critic
Before Your Session:
1. Name that voice. Seriously – give your inner critic a name. Mine is called Phyllis (she sounds like a judgmental aunt). When you separate that critical voice from your own thoughts, it's easier to dismiss.
2. Prepare, but don't obsess. Yes, plan your outfit and get a good night's sleep. But don't spend weeks critiquing your appearance or crash-dieting before photos.
3. Remind yourself why you're doing this. These photos aren't for Instagram likes – they're memories to treasure, moments to preserve. The people who love you don't see your "flaws" when they look at you.
4. Share your anxiety. Tell your photographer you're nervous! I promise we've heard it all before, and having it out in the open helps us help you.
During Your Session:
1. Focus on sensation, not appearance. Feel the sun on your face, the texture of your child's hair, the fabric of your clothes. Getting out of your head and into your body makes for more natural expressions.
2. Trust your photographer. When I suggest a pose or angle, it's because I can see something beautiful forming. Trust that process even when you can't see it yet.
3. Create a mental vacation. Instead of thinking "I'm being photographed and probably look terrible," try "I'm enjoying this beautiful day with people I love."
4. Move your body. Stiffness comes from anxiety. Gentle movement between poses – a shoulder roll, a deep breath, a little dance – releases tension and creates more natural results.
When Viewing Your Photos:
1. Give yourself the friend treatment. Would you ever speak to a friend the way you speak to yourself? Look at your photos with the same kindness you'd offer others.
2. Look at the whole, not the parts. Instead of zooming in on your perceived flaws, take in the entire image – the connection, the composition, the feeling it evokes.
3. Sit with discomfort. Our initial reaction to photos of ourselves is often negative because we're used to seeing our mirror image, not how we truly appear to others. Give yourself time to adjust before making judgments.
4. Remember what matters. Decades from now, these photos won't be about how photogenic you were – they'll be treasured memories of people, relationships, and chapters in your life story.
A Photographer's Perspective
When I look through my camera, I see beauty in the most unexpected moments – the way a mother's hand naturally cradles her child's head, the slight crinkle around a father's eyes when he laughs, the uninhibited joy of a toddler mid-twirl.
I see beauty in your unguarded smile, in the way you naturally tuck your hair behind your ear, in how your whole face lights up when someone you love enters the frame.
I promise you – the things you're critiquing about yourself aren't what others see when they look at you. They see your light, your love, your essence.
A Challenge for Your Next Session
The next time you're in front of my camera (or any camera), try this: Instead of thinking about how you look, focus on how you feel. Connect with the people beside you. Remember a happy memory. Think about what you love about this current chapter in your life.
Then, when you see your photos, challenge yourself to wait before the critique. Look first for the joy, the connection, the authentic moments. They're always there, waiting to be noticed.
Your inner critic might always try to have the first word – but that doesn't mean it gets to have the last word.
Ready to create beautiful photos that capture your authentic self? Let's work together to silence that inner critic and showcase your natural radiance. Book your session at LaLa Photography by calling 971-801-0033 or visiting our website. Your future self will thank you for these memories!
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